Beau's Secret

Exactly a year ago today, I was doing something I would have never expected. I was holding and rocking my niece's tiny baby while she was mourning the death of her brother, Beau, in the other room. 

We had gone to Colorado, like we did every year over Memorial Day Weekend, only this time was different. As soon as we pulled into our old familiar hotel parking lot, we got a frantic call from Liz, Mike's Sister, saying that Beau, her 16 year old son, had been in a terrible ATV accident and was being life flighted to the nearest hospital. After making sure which hospital he was being taken to, we headed there also. We entered the room in the ER, still not believing that Beau could really be that badly injured.  When we saw Beau laying there, Liz softly crying and stroking his hair back, we felt that he was gone. It wasn't him. His body was laying there but his spirit was gone. I took Ashley's baby and went to the waiting area to try and give her time to grieve and to be there for her mom and family. It was in that waiting room that I started to learn more about Beau and the kind of person he was. 

We waited for several hours in that waiting room and every hour that passed, we would hear an alarm of some type go off. Another cousin, Chelsea, and I were both tending little children and we finally found the phone that was going off.  It was Beau's phone and it had a message in it. It was then that I realized what Beau knew. 

Honestly, I didn't really have a relationship with Beau. I only saw him a few times a month and when we saw each other, there was a quick hug, a few pleasantries were exchanged and that was about it. I loved him and thought he was a "good kid" but at family gatherings, he would go hang out with the teenagers and I would stay with the adults so there really wasn't much interaction. Everything I knew about Beau, came mostly from talking to his mom, Liz, and from Grandma Bennett. I did know that

Beau wasn't perfect. He was a regular 16-year-old teenage boy who sometimes talked back to his parents and broke curfew. He had a really messy bedroom and he loved to do crazy, silly things with his friends and he always had a smile on his face. He was pretty normal. But not really. Beau had learned something that a lot of people don't figure out for a really long time. Some people never figure it out. Beau learned the secret for being truly happy. 

Growing up Beau had done what all the boys his age and in his social circle were pushed to do, he played sports. He played football and baseball mostly and he played golf whenever he could. It was probably expected because he came from athletic families. Grandpas on both sides of the family had truly excelled in sports. But somewhere along the way, Beau started to see what some of his friends that he played sports with were doing and he didn't like the choices they were making and maybe some of the choices he was making when he was with them. He made a big decision to stop playing those sports and to stop hanging around those friends. That was hard. Anyone who has experienced changing friend groups, and probably everyone has, knows how hard that is. There was probably a little bullying going on and making life miserable for him for a while from those old friends but Beau found new friends and before long he was filling his time with other things instead of playing sports. 

One of his new found activities was going to the temple every week and Beau was finding that he was happier than ever before. He tried to serve others by volunteering at places and also by doing family history and he used that big smile of his to make friends wherever he went. He really liked to find new people at school and be a friend to them. They said that he even deleted his social media accounts because he felt that he needed to concentrate on living his own life and not watch other people live theirs. He wanted to live life to the fullest and not waste a minute of time being unhappy or comparing himself with others. 

At the funeral for Beau, Beau's bishop told how he had come to him several months before he passed away and said he wanted to think about the Savior more. That's when he had come up with his plan. He set an alarm to go off every hour on his phone that would say, "Make Christ the Center of Your Life." Every time he saw it flash on his screen, he would try to serve someone, recite a song or scripture or say a prayer. He was working hard to try and live as Christlike as possible. He wanted his thoughts through out the day, to be centered on Christ, our true source of happiness and joy. Beau wasn't perfect. No one is. But Beau had found out a great truth at the young age of 16, a truth that many people don't figure out their whole lives. CHRIST is the CENTER of everything. If we center our lives on HIM, then we find a power and an inner peace that comes only in and through HIM. 

Everyone is sad that Beau had to leave this life at such a young age. But the beauty of Beau leaving this earth is that his secret is being told everywhere now. There's a big movement of people who are sick of being unhappy and insecure. When they see Beau's story and learn his secret, then they can be "happi" too! (Beau's license plate said happy with an "i") Make CHRIST the CENTER of your life. That's the key. That's the secret. Beau knew how to be happy and his message is spreading to the world. 

-Cathy

I like New Years!

"The Lord is teaching me a spiritual lesson with my physical body"
All things are spiritual unto the Lord. 

I really like New Years! I like the idea of getting to start over, and trying again. I like Sundays, and mornings for the same reason. 
I use to have a tendency to want to fix every thing I do wrong right this minute...then I would fail, and beat myself up for not being everything I should be. Although I still sometimes think this way, I have learned through a pattern set in the temple that that's not how the Lord works. He gives us one thing at a time. We work on it until we have mastered it, then we return to him and report. He used this pattern even with our Savior and He is perfect!  
This year Josh Penrod asked us all to do a self evaluation and really think about where we are, and what would best help us improve. I took this challenge seriously, and made it a matter of prayer. This morning I went to the temple seeking guidance in knowing what I lack and how to go about improving. On my own I could think of a lot of things I need to do better, in fact so many that I don't know where to start. That's why I wanted to know where the Lord thought I should start. 
This is what I felt...
I developed some wonderful gifts in the pre earth life, gifts I'm extremely thankful for and have served me well in this life. Some of those gifts are obedience. I don't question what I should do or why, I just do it. I don't even think about why, just that I know I should, so I do. Maybe some people would think that's a bad thing, but for me it's been a huge blessing because in the doing I learn the why and I understand fully the joy that living the gospel brings. It's how I have gained my testimony. 
I am content in pretty much every situation. I have lived in some pretty crappy places, eaten horrible food, dealt with people who are hard to get along with...I have to say for the most part my life has been ideal so i don't really have much to complain about, but I don't really complain. I'm good at adjusting. My dad calls me content. Brian calls me low maintenance. My siblings call me easy going. All that being said, it's been a blessing to not get too worked up over things. 
I am an extremely routine person. For the most part I do the same thing everyday at the same times, I could eat the same thing everyday and not get sick of it, I do the same things day after day, and week after week and I pretty much like it that way. 
I believe God likes routine. So much of what we do in the church is repetition. So much of the earth He created runs on a routine. It gives us time to figure things out, and make small changes along the way. Routine gives me comfort. 
I am so thankful for these gifts! They are part of who I am, and I feel these things are pleasing in many ways to my Father in Heaven. 
With these gifts comes new lessons to learn. These are the lessons I'm going to focus on this upcoming year. 
It came to my mind that I have always exercised my physical body. I would work hard and push myself, but I was only going through the motions, so although it was doing some good for me, it wasn't doing what it could have done. I was just stuck in a routine, not asking questions. Doing things because I should. In the last year I have learned that change comes from not just going through the motions, but doing things with real intent. Thinking about what you're doing, and why, embracing the pain, as well and the reward. Really feeling things!!
When I started exercising differently and connecting in my workouts it made me feel vulnerable, i wasn't sure I liked it. I couldn't make the correct connections and I wanted to just move and not think. I'm so glad I stuck with it! I have learned so much I couldn't go back to the old way.  Now the way I use to exercise seems pointless, and silly. I now can see clearly when others aren't connected to there bodies, and they are just going through the motions, and it makes me feel sorry for them. 
I have been really good at disconnecting in other parts of my life. I feel when I want to feel. I feel happy things, and spiritual things but if something is sad, hard, or stressful, I can just shut if off and not feel.  I can go through the motions, but never really engage in what is happening. There is good in allowing yourself to feel and not just going to a "happy place" and checking out.
 I need to live in the moment that I'm in.
 Live intentionally!! Be grateful for that specific moment. 
I know the Savior allowed himself to feel all the pain, sadness, happiness, goodness that we experience. I need to learn to live my life in a way that I allow myself to feel more fully. I think that starts with being aware. Not just going through the motions, really living with a purpose. I'm not sure exactly what the practical steps are....
I started reading a book about temples that talked about how we can miss the point of the temple when we just go, but don't think about what we are doing there. In the temples of old they made the stairs leading up to the temple different dimensions so that people couldn't mindlessly walk into the temple. You had to think about where you were stepping as you entered the temple.  I like the idea of taking intentional steps. I don't know exactly what the practical steps are for this journey, I just know it's the next step in my progression. 
Taking that step scares me to death! What if it's really painful. Facing things that aren't pleasant is never fun, but how do I fix the things that aren't right if I just act like they don't exist?  It's scary!! I think about the mountains I could climb if I stop making the mountains into molehills. There isn't growth in walking up a molehill☺️
I worry that if I allow myself to feel, that just like the physical part I won't be able to go back to just checking out. I'll be connected. I also think it will be so much better in the long run if I can allow myself to feel. 
Opposition in all things...pain and pleasure 
Sadness and joy. How can I really understand one without the other? 
-Sandi

Memorial Day

What do you do for Memorial Day? Dad, Mom and Geri spent the weekend before with Mark and Tasha's family in Price visiting loved one's grave sights, and showing their respect.  

 While there they visited a museum featuring mining history on Helper Main St that was very educational and interesting, especially to these two.  Their father's were both miners.

Mom got teary eyed when seeing the pictures (detailing the Castle Gate explosion) that brought back so many memories of her own Dad. She pointed to the helmet and lunch pail and said, "that's what my Dad use to wear."

Memorial Day BBQ and swim day at the Morley's

There was also chores done before heading to the pool and...

in WA hay was being stacked while...

in OR a garden was planted and they enjoyed their own (slightly scaled down:) pool party...

until they were all tuckered out!

Hope your Memorial Day was just as memorable!

Family Happenings

 Emily got married! (Michele's)

 Hyrum average 2nd in team roping for the rodeo over the weekend and 7th for the year! (Audra's)

 Brandon with his grandparents

 Brandon graduates (Gina's)

Morley's team takes it all! (Cathy's)

 Ella wins class president! Yay Ella! (Tasha's)

 Kimball places several times in track (Krystin's)

 Clara is region 16 champion for the 1600 meter and the 800 meter races! (Audra's)

 Sandy-Kaye took first in her ball room competition held in Portland, OR (above picture is of prom- Chrisy's)

Brett and Seth went bear hunting and were successful!  Having a great time and bringing home a bear. (Mary's)

Motherhood

All I ever wanted to be was a mother surrounded by a lot of children of my own. My Ellie asks me all the time if dreams really come true and I must say, "yes! I am surrounded by my 10 children and wonderful husband daily. A dream come true, so yes, Dreams do come true."  Being a mom is the most rewarding job in the world. It's also the hardest and most thankless job. 

Everyone goes through periods of time when they wonder if the dishes will wash themselves or if the laundry could sprout legs and walk into the laundry room, jump in the washing machine and wash itself. A mom has to make a healthy breakfast, lunch and dinner that appeals to all the children and the husband and don't forget to account for food allergies. There are times when the children are cranky and rude and argue and fight. What about the times when the school work is not getting done just because they don't see how it will relate to their life.? There are also times when you are up all night with a sick child or with another child because they had a bad dream or with another child who just can't sleep because they are anxious about something. A mom can't forget about developing talents so we take our children to lessons and practices so they can be the star of the show or the all star athletes. Lets not forget to teach them to pray and do personal scripture study and have a testimony of the gospel.  A mom is the maid, the chef, the referee, the teacher and tutor, the comforter, the doctor, the psychologist, the taxi driver, the cheerleader, the spiritual coach, the center of the children's life. A mother is the world to her children. 

As women we look at other moms with their completely together life and we compare ourselves. We fall into those times when we feel like we need to do more and that everything we do is not enough or not as good as Sally, or Mary, or Martha, or all the other moms. President Uchtdorf said it best when he said, "Stop it!" We can't compare ourselves to someone else. In October 2001, President Hinckley counseled us that "life is to be enjoyed, not just endured". We must enjoy life, we must find joy in the little things. 

Recently my eyes were opened to the view of a mother from the child's perspective. This happened over the last few months as our primary children and young women  in our ward have been learning a song for Mother's Day. My children practiced the song throughout the week and would sing it as they went about their day. They were practicing so they were prepared to sing it in sacrament meeting. I started singing the song myself and reflecting on what the words were saying as I went through my busy day of caring for my family and home. 

"More than Enough" by Shawna Edwards and Rebecca Edwards Woolf. I use the lyrics here with permission from Shawna Edwards. 

Maybe I'll never know the love it takes

To make me a happy home that's warm and safe, 

And maybe I'll never see how you pray for my every need,

And wonder what more you could do for me. 

But when you walk by my side,

Read me stories at night,

And teach me to trust in Gods love.

You give me a hug, maybe two,

And you say "I love you!"

Then I think that you're doing enough. 

Maybe you wonder if you're teaching me

Every good thing that I can someday be. 

But all that I know of faith, and of kindness and love and strength 

I've learned just by watching you everyday. 

So when you stay by my side,

Hear my stories at night. 

And teach me to trust in Gods love,

You give me a hug, maybe two,

And you say "I love you,"

Then I think that you're doing enough. 

Someday I'll have a home, a family 

And I'll love them just as much as you love me. 

Then maybe you'll finally see,

You have given enough for me,

A gift that will last through eternity.

So  when you stay by my side,

Hear my stories at night. 

And teach me to trust in Gods love,

You give me a hug, maybe two,

And you say "I love you,"

Then I think that you're MORE than enough. 

And I'm blessed every step by your love.

When as a mother your life is crazy busy trying to care for the home and family, and you are sleep deprived and feel you never have enough time to get everything done, think of your little ones and the future mothers and fathers you are raising and just know you are doing More than Enough. 

President  Hinckley in October 2003 said, "You dear women, I say thanks to you. Thank you for being the kind of people you are and doing the things you do." I echo his words when I say thank you for being amazing women and mothers. In the craziness of raising a family we must keep doing the things we are doing. The little things matter most. As a mother we hold the future in our arms daily as we care for our family. Satan knows this and will do all he can to discourage us and make mothers feel they aren't doing enough. I'm grateful for tender mercies from our Heavenly Father when he gently reminds me through the simple words of a song sung by my children. They reminded me I was doing "More than Enough". 

 We cook.

 We plant.

 We eat.

 We play.  These crazy girls give me a heart attack

We hike and love to be together.

Love, Audra

Pictures of the Week

 Chrisy as guest speaker at Relief Society night while visiting Utah.  She has been asked to be a guest speaker several times because she always does an incredible job.  She is so creative and funny.

 Mom with her hot new ride!

Birthday lunch.  The girls in the family get together every so often to celebrate the birthdays of the month with lunch.  Those of us that don't make it, really miss out. :(  It's always a fun time.

Love Handed Down

In a family, a lot of things are handed down from one generation to another: Traditions, characteristics, genetics, etc. Some are good things that are passed down, and some are not so desirable. 

Our sweet missionary, Estee, gave us an assignment to help her get a book about her family completed. She gave each member of the family someone in the family tree to research, and report to her about, when we get to Face Time with her on Mother's Day. So, the other night, we had a Family Home Evening where we talked about some of our ancestors. 

My mom, Sandy, was here spending the evening with us. We utilized her knowledge and experience and asked her to tell us about her mom, Verda Craig, which is one of the names we were asked to research. I've heard about my Grandma Craig's life many times before, that's why she is, and always has been, one of my heroes. I love her for so many reasons, but that night as I listened to my mom talking, I realized something really important that she has handed down and it made me appreciate her even more.

Grandma Craig had what most would consider a "challenging life." From her mother dying when she was 10 days old due to complications from child birth, to being raped as a young teen aged girl and having to give up her first born child to be raised by a distant relative, she had her fair share of hard things to overcome. Many people would have become bitter because they didn't have a loving family life. Or they would become negative and pessimistic because life for her really was unfair. Not Verda Craig. Somehow, despite the horrible hand that had been dealt to her in life, she remained gentle and loving. 

Grandma Craig  showed affection to EVERYONE. It didn't matter if she had known you forever or if it was the first time you had met her, she kissed and hugged everyone. You couldn't be within arms length without her reaching out to hold your hand or rub your arm or some other loving affectionate act. And she handed that down to her children, who in turn, handed it down to their children. 

I was the blessed recipient of an affectionate mother. I can't imagine my life without my mom's loving touch. One day while she was visiting at my house, Mom watched as I interacted with my oldest son, Shideler, who was at the time turning into a teenager.  I found myself holding back from giving as much affection as I had done, only because I feared that he wouldn't want me to "smother" him. After he left, my mom pointed out the lack of affection I had shown to him and I explained my concerns to her. Her advice changed me and it's something I've never forgotten. She said, "Cath, they may act like they don't want those hugs and kisses, but believe me, they need them now more than ever. If you continue to show them affection, even if they act like they don't like it, you will remain close and have a strong bond throughout some of the toughest times of their lives." That has proved to be a true statement. 

Now there's never a day that I don't see my big, strong 24 and 22 year-old sons, that they don't come and give me a huge hug and kiss. All my children know that many times throughout the day, every day, if they are within arms length, they will be lovingly touched by me. That is something that has created a wonderful, loving environment in our home and a sweet bond with each of my kids, which I am so grateful for. And I have my Grandma Craig to thank for that. She's the one that passed love down. 

-Cathy