Balance in our life; we are told to keep our lives balanced, but sometimes life feels overwhelming. You realize you cannot make more time, or have a clone of you made. Then you have to start juggling and feel like you need to let things go, but what to let go? When you are at the point when you do not know how to possibly take care of all who need you and you know you have to ask for help, that is when you humbly realize that you are not superwoman.
I have had an emotional ride this past month. As a Mother, you are only as happy as your saddest child. The first of July my oldest daughter called in tears after having a baby only 2 months earlier. She was struggling with rotating joint pain. She could not even walk some days and other days she would have so much pain in her hands and wrists that she could not hold her baby. With her husband working long hours and because she lives out of state, we made arrangements for her to come to Utah so I could help her with her baby and her two other children.
While she was at my home, we experienced a 100 year storm and our home was hit very severely. My Daughter was in the basement by a blind-covered window. When the window exploded, a shard of glass cut her ankle, wide and deep. The Police Chief and ambulance crew carried her up to safety just after the third window burst and before the river of muddy water engulfed our basement. So, the first emotion was worry for a daughter who was already experiencing health issues. Then it was complicated by her not being able to walk at all. I stressed about where to have her and her family stay while she recovered because all my bedrooms had been destroyed.
Second emotion was awe, amazement, and appreciation, as family, ward and community came together to suck up the water, muck out and scrap mud, fix landscaping, cut and take out sheetrock, insulation, carpet, and swollen doors, go through garages full of ruined furniture, and personal belongings and provided meals.
Third emotion was feeling overwhelmed. As the week progressed, demands for nurturing my daughter, her baby and her kids became harder as they stayed in her sister’s small home. Humbly we had to ask for help again from the extended family to watch grandkids, so we could deal with the mess of my home and with the needs of my daughter.
Did I mention that during this crazy time we were trying to also get my teenage Son ready to serve a mission? He finally came to me the Thursday before his farewell and asked if I could free up some time to go with him to get a suit before he had to speak that coming Sunday.
Another emotion came in the form of guilt as I spent the day shopping with him while my grandkids were taken to a Sister-in-law’s home to be babysat. Guilt was also an emotion as I let my RS Counselors take over my duties and care for the Sisters of our ward. However, I was so relieved and thankful that I could delegate needs to them.
The emotion of humility has been my constant companion as I have realized that I am not Superwoman and I need help sometimes too. And gratitude, another companion, as we see the tender mercies; my daughter will recover, we are all safe and our home being flooded is an inconvenience, but not a trial. It could have been so much worse and we see the hand of the Lord in our life protecting us.
My Son leaves in 3 days for a mission. He just came in and said he saw Aunt Sandi at Salem Days and because she was like his second Mom, he was emotional. So, as I sit here writing this post, my last emotion is mixed; I am so proud of my Son and for his decision to serve a mission, but my heart is being ripped out by allowing and encouraging him to leave for 2 years.
My daughter, finally able to walk and take care of her family, has gone back to her home, school is going to start soon and my Son will leave on a mission next week. Maybe in my quiet home I will be able to find balance in my life. But how I will remember the friendships, service, love and support that was given to us in a time of need! My emotions will be thankful, grateful and blessed for my time of being out of balance and having to rely on others.
Gina Griffiths
Gina Griffiths
