Larry

Lately I've been frustrated with myself. I keep doing the same things over and over and I know I shouldn't. I talk too much, for instance. Talking can be a good thing, but not when I say things I shouldn't or when I interrupt or cut people off. I could list several other bad habits but I think everyone does things that they wish they didn't. We all have undesirable characteristics and actions that have become a part of who we are. 

This brings me to a lesson I've learned from Larry. We have this bird that we've affectionately named, Larry, that comes back every year to our house and runs into the same window repeatedly. Year after year, the same bird on the same window. Of course it could be a different bird, as all Robins pretty much look identical but we figure it must be the same bird because no other bird would be so dumb as to keep running into the same window. Every day. It used to be that Larry would come about the same time every afternoon. It was almost like clockwork. But now, he comes many times during the day and this year, he's started going to another window and doing the same head-bonking routine as he does on his "normal" window.  We have recorded Larry running into the window multiple times because it's such an anomaly and he's even been in a few snap stories. He just keeps coming. We figure this is the 4th year in a row that he's come and smashed himself against our window as part of his daily routine. My family considers Larry "mentally handicapped" because why on earth would you keep doing the same thing over and over again?  It must be painful, or at the very least, frustrating, but he continues down his self-abusive path. Over and over again. 

Then it hit me.  I'm just like Larry! I keep doing the same things over and over again but I'm expecting different results. I know I talk too much. I always feel like I have so much to "tell" everyone. So I just continue to smash against the window, doing the same thing, feeling frustrated and having hurt feelings because I don't feel like I'm communicating as effectively as I want to with my husband, children or anyone really. 

So, I've decided that I don't want to be Larry. I think it's easy to get into the same patterns and repeat behaviors and actions that aren't really helpful or productive. That's my goal. To stop beating myself up and learn from my mistakes. The greatest thing I think I can do is study the life of the Savior and try to be just like Him. He was the master at everything, including communication and every other self mastery skill. Why not learn from the best and try to pattern my habits and life after Him? 

Everyone in our family hopes that Larry will realize that he's not getting anywhere in life by running into the window every day. We all hope he will get over whatever fascination he has with the window and that he'll set himself free from the drudgery of repetitive, abusive habits. I hope I can do that too. No one wants to be a Larry. 

Cathy Bennett