You never know when it’s going to happen. What is that saying....if the teacher is ready the student will come...or something like that. All I know is that it happens sometimes when you least expect it. It has really taught me the lesson lately that there is no substitute for being there.
You can prepare a lesson to give in church or to give at family night, and sometimes (let’s be honest, most of the time!) your kids could care less about what you want to teach. They have their own agenda and usually that is just to get the lesson over with as soon as humanly possible. I remember having those feelings from when I was a kid. Poor parents. What goes around comes around.
But once in a while, when you aren’t even preparing a beautiful sermon in your head of what to say, your child is asking a question and that moment happens. A teaching moment. A moment when your truly connect and both of you are edified.
It’s amazing when you can tell that your child sincerely wants to know something and you can express what you want them to hear and they really LISTEN to what you are saying to them. Not the kind of listening when you know they heard what you said but they really didn’t hear (“uh-huh, got it mom, now stop talking, mom”) what you said. This is a moment when you know that what you said and what they heard will definitely impact them and they may even remember it for the rest of their lives.
Just in the last two days, it’s happened twice. That’s like lightening striking twice! It just doesn’t happen like that....ever!
In the car with one son and we’re waiting for his basketball practice to start but the coach is late so we are just sitting in the car. It starts with small talk and then, BOOM, the teaching moment appears and we have a heart-felt discussion about life as a junior high student and some of the struggles he’s facing. I was able to express that I knew what he was going through and that I remembered and understood. We came to some resolutions about some things we can do to make life better and I’m so thankful that the coach was 20 minutes late. That conversation lead to further conversations, and confessions, and now we really feel like we’re making some progress.
My life has changed recently and I have been in school this last year so I’m not home every day if my kids were to come home for lunch. Sometimes I regret that I’m not home as much but even on the days I have been home, they haven’t come home to eat so today when my high school-aged son came home, I was surprised. I immediately stopped cleaning the bathroom and went to the kitchen to make him something to eat. We started talking while he was eating and BOOM, it happened again. A wonderful teaching opportunity occurred where I was able to talk with him heart-to-heart and bear my testimony about repentance and forgiveness and the gratitude I feel for the Savior and His atonement in my life. What if I would have missed that? It was so sweet. I love being able to communicate one-on-one and when there’s true understanding, it creates a bond like no other.
I know we can’t be everywhere that our kids are, and they would hate it if we were. But we can be there for the small day to day things and then pray that those teaching moments will happen. We can do our best to be prepared spiritually for when those moments come and pray like crazy that Heavenly Father will help us to know what to say to our child when they are “really listening.” When these moments do come, it’s a blessing and can be life-changing for both parties.
-Cathy Bennett
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