Love Handed Down

In a family, a lot of things are handed down from one generation to another: Traditions, characteristics, genetics, etc. Some are good things that are passed down, and some are not so desirable. 

Our sweet missionary, Estee, gave us an assignment to help her get a book about her family completed. She gave each member of the family someone in the family tree to research, and report to her about, when we get to Face Time with her on Mother's Day. So, the other night, we had a Family Home Evening where we talked about some of our ancestors. 

My mom, Sandy, was here spending the evening with us. We utilized her knowledge and experience and asked her to tell us about her mom, Verda Craig, which is one of the names we were asked to research. I've heard about my Grandma Craig's life many times before, that's why she is, and always has been, one of my heroes. I love her for so many reasons, but that night as I listened to my mom talking, I realized something really important that she has handed down and it made me appreciate her even more.

Grandma Craig had what most would consider a "challenging life." From her mother dying when she was 10 days old due to complications from child birth, to being raped as a young teen aged girl and having to give up her first born child to be raised by a distant relative, she had her fair share of hard things to overcome. Many people would have become bitter because they didn't have a loving family life. Or they would become negative and pessimistic because life for her really was unfair. Not Verda Craig. Somehow, despite the horrible hand that had been dealt to her in life, she remained gentle and loving. 

Grandma Craig  showed affection to EVERYONE. It didn't matter if she had known you forever or if it was the first time you had met her, she kissed and hugged everyone. You couldn't be within arms length without her reaching out to hold your hand or rub your arm or some other loving affectionate act. And she handed that down to her children, who in turn, handed it down to their children. 

I was the blessed recipient of an affectionate mother. I can't imagine my life without my mom's loving touch. One day while she was visiting at my house, Mom watched as I interacted with my oldest son, Shideler, who was at the time turning into a teenager.  I found myself holding back from giving as much affection as I had done, only because I feared that he wouldn't want me to "smother" him. After he left, my mom pointed out the lack of affection I had shown to him and I explained my concerns to her. Her advice changed me and it's something I've never forgotten. She said, "Cath, they may act like they don't want those hugs and kisses, but believe me, they need them now more than ever. If you continue to show them affection, even if they act like they don't like it, you will remain close and have a strong bond throughout some of the toughest times of their lives." That has proved to be a true statement. 

Now there's never a day that I don't see my big, strong 24 and 22 year-old sons, that they don't come and give me a huge hug and kiss. All my children know that many times throughout the day, every day, if they are within arms length, they will be lovingly touched by me. That is something that has created a wonderful, loving environment in our home and a sweet bond with each of my kids, which I am so grateful for. And I have my Grandma Craig to thank for that. She's the one that passed love down. 

-Cathy