Motherhood

All I ever wanted to be was a mother surrounded by a lot of children of my own. My Ellie asks me all the time if dreams really come true and I must say, "yes! I am surrounded by my 10 children and wonderful husband daily. A dream come true, so yes, Dreams do come true."  Being a mom is the most rewarding job in the world. It's also the hardest and most thankless job. 

Everyone goes through periods of time when they wonder if the dishes will wash themselves or if the laundry could sprout legs and walk into the laundry room, jump in the washing machine and wash itself. A mom has to make a healthy breakfast, lunch and dinner that appeals to all the children and the husband and don't forget to account for food allergies. There are times when the children are cranky and rude and argue and fight. What about the times when the school work is not getting done just because they don't see how it will relate to their life.? There are also times when you are up all night with a sick child or with another child because they had a bad dream or with another child who just can't sleep because they are anxious about something. A mom can't forget about developing talents so we take our children to lessons and practices so they can be the star of the show or the all star athletes. Lets not forget to teach them to pray and do personal scripture study and have a testimony of the gospel.  A mom is the maid, the chef, the referee, the teacher and tutor, the comforter, the doctor, the psychologist, the taxi driver, the cheerleader, the spiritual coach, the center of the children's life. A mother is the world to her children. 

As women we look at other moms with their completely together life and we compare ourselves. We fall into those times when we feel like we need to do more and that everything we do is not enough or not as good as Sally, or Mary, or Martha, or all the other moms. President Uchtdorf said it best when he said, "Stop it!" We can't compare ourselves to someone else. In October 2001, President Hinckley counseled us that "life is to be enjoyed, not just endured". We must enjoy life, we must find joy in the little things. 

Recently my eyes were opened to the view of a mother from the child's perspective. This happened over the last few months as our primary children and young women  in our ward have been learning a song for Mother's Day. My children practiced the song throughout the week and would sing it as they went about their day. They were practicing so they were prepared to sing it in sacrament meeting. I started singing the song myself and reflecting on what the words were saying as I went through my busy day of caring for my family and home. 

"More than Enough" by Shawna Edwards and Rebecca Edwards Woolf. I use the lyrics here with permission from Shawna Edwards. 

Maybe I'll never know the love it takes

To make me a happy home that's warm and safe, 

And maybe I'll never see how you pray for my every need,

And wonder what more you could do for me. 

But when you walk by my side,

Read me stories at night,

And teach me to trust in Gods love.

You give me a hug, maybe two,

And you say "I love you!"

Then I think that you're doing enough. 

Maybe you wonder if you're teaching me

Every good thing that I can someday be. 

But all that I know of faith, and of kindness and love and strength 

I've learned just by watching you everyday. 

So when you stay by my side,

Hear my stories at night. 

And teach me to trust in Gods love,

You give me a hug, maybe two,

And you say "I love you,"

Then I think that you're doing enough. 

Someday I'll have a home, a family 

And I'll love them just as much as you love me. 

Then maybe you'll finally see,

You have given enough for me,

A gift that will last through eternity.

So  when you stay by my side,

Hear my stories at night. 

And teach me to trust in Gods love,

You give me a hug, maybe two,

And you say "I love you,"

Then I think that you're MORE than enough. 

And I'm blessed every step by your love.

When as a mother your life is crazy busy trying to care for the home and family, and you are sleep deprived and feel you never have enough time to get everything done, think of your little ones and the future mothers and fathers you are raising and just know you are doing More than Enough. 

President  Hinckley in October 2003 said, "You dear women, I say thanks to you. Thank you for being the kind of people you are and doing the things you do." I echo his words when I say thank you for being amazing women and mothers. In the craziness of raising a family we must keep doing the things we are doing. The little things matter most. As a mother we hold the future in our arms daily as we care for our family. Satan knows this and will do all he can to discourage us and make mothers feel they aren't doing enough. I'm grateful for tender mercies from our Heavenly Father when he gently reminds me through the simple words of a song sung by my children. They reminded me I was doing "More than Enough". 

 We cook.

 We plant.

 We eat.

 We play.  These crazy girls give me a heart attack

We hike and love to be together.

Love, Audra

Pictures of the Week

 Chrisy as guest speaker at Relief Society night while visiting Utah.  She has been asked to be a guest speaker several times because she always does an incredible job.  She is so creative and funny.

 Mom with her hot new ride!

Birthday lunch.  The girls in the family get together every so often to celebrate the birthdays of the month with lunch.  Those of us that don't make it, really miss out. :(  It's always a fun time.

Love Handed Down

In a family, a lot of things are handed down from one generation to another: Traditions, characteristics, genetics, etc. Some are good things that are passed down, and some are not so desirable. 

Our sweet missionary, Estee, gave us an assignment to help her get a book about her family completed. She gave each member of the family someone in the family tree to research, and report to her about, when we get to Face Time with her on Mother's Day. So, the other night, we had a Family Home Evening where we talked about some of our ancestors. 

My mom, Sandy, was here spending the evening with us. We utilized her knowledge and experience and asked her to tell us about her mom, Verda Craig, which is one of the names we were asked to research. I've heard about my Grandma Craig's life many times before, that's why she is, and always has been, one of my heroes. I love her for so many reasons, but that night as I listened to my mom talking, I realized something really important that she has handed down and it made me appreciate her even more.

Grandma Craig had what most would consider a "challenging life." From her mother dying when she was 10 days old due to complications from child birth, to being raped as a young teen aged girl and having to give up her first born child to be raised by a distant relative, she had her fair share of hard things to overcome. Many people would have become bitter because they didn't have a loving family life. Or they would become negative and pessimistic because life for her really was unfair. Not Verda Craig. Somehow, despite the horrible hand that had been dealt to her in life, she remained gentle and loving. 

Grandma Craig  showed affection to EVERYONE. It didn't matter if she had known you forever or if it was the first time you had met her, she kissed and hugged everyone. You couldn't be within arms length without her reaching out to hold your hand or rub your arm or some other loving affectionate act. And she handed that down to her children, who in turn, handed it down to their children. 

I was the blessed recipient of an affectionate mother. I can't imagine my life without my mom's loving touch. One day while she was visiting at my house, Mom watched as I interacted with my oldest son, Shideler, who was at the time turning into a teenager.  I found myself holding back from giving as much affection as I had done, only because I feared that he wouldn't want me to "smother" him. After he left, my mom pointed out the lack of affection I had shown to him and I explained my concerns to her. Her advice changed me and it's something I've never forgotten. She said, "Cath, they may act like they don't want those hugs and kisses, but believe me, they need them now more than ever. If you continue to show them affection, even if they act like they don't like it, you will remain close and have a strong bond throughout some of the toughest times of their lives." That has proved to be a true statement. 

Now there's never a day that I don't see my big, strong 24 and 22 year-old sons, that they don't come and give me a huge hug and kiss. All my children know that many times throughout the day, every day, if they are within arms length, they will be lovingly touched by me. That is something that has created a wonderful, loving environment in our home and a sweet bond with each of my kids, which I am so grateful for. And I have my Grandma Craig to thank for that. She's the one that passed love down. 

-Cathy

Birthday Bash

What comes around every year and is avoided by some, anticipated by others, but always celebrated (if you ‘re in our family)?  Birthdays at the Cope house are a big deal!  You can expect to wake up to streamers, gifts, a personalized birthday poster and the traditional birthday hat with candles on top (required to be worn as we sing a purposely-off-tune, obnoxious version of “Happy Birthday to you”). 

Birthdays were always a special occasion as we were growing up.  Mom was amazing at making it special, despite the fact that she had to do it so regularly.  With 13 children, she had lots of practice.  I think I was the only child that cared about my presents being wrapped, instead of in the usual brown paper grocery bag.  On our birthday morning, the birthday child awakened by the family gathered around the bed, bearing gifts, and singing.  Then, it was breakfast in bed and special treatment all day.  Nowadays, I still get a sweet card in the mail from mom and dad – but the best part is getting the phone call with the two of them enthusiastically singing “We love you, Chrisy, oh yes we do, there is no other that’s quite like you!  When you’re not with us, we’re blue.  Oh, Chrisy, we love you!”  They probably don’t know it, but it brings tears to my eyes, especially with each passing  year as their voices become less-robust.

Two decades ago I decided to broaden my birthday list to every member on both sides of the family, including grandkids and now great-grandkids.  The list grows every year, nearing 300 (and my greatest fear is forgetting someone!)  Once-elaborate, handmade cards have now become handmade postcards with the birthday name in bubble letters and a heartfelt greeting on the back.  Since we live away from all the family, it’s our simple, yet sincere, way to stay connected and express love for each family member.   

My husband likes to tease me about sending birthday cards to everyone I know and even the people I meet in line at the grocery store or on an airplane.  He’s not too far from the truth.  Years ago my postman said he has enjoyed seeing all the postcards I send, and jokingly said he wishes he could get one of my customized cards.  He told me his birthday.  I committed it to memory, and showed up at the post office with his birthday card on May 25^th.  It brought a smile to his face.  In three weeks, Gary the postman will be receiving his birthday card again.  J

 By Chrisy Cope

Pictures of memorable times

                                           Couple retreat in Spring of 2017- Vegas Temple

                           (This one's for you Mandi) Women's conference 2017 for Mom's birthday.                

Tavin with his mom, Chrisy.  He came and saw us while we waited to go into the conference center. (He brought grandma flowers!)

 Eating lunch the first day together. Chrisy and Mary flew in to join the rest of the sisters.

       

 At the conference center

time spent together in Salt Lake for Mom's 80th birthday

 

                       
     Grandma, Aunts, and nieces spending time together

Spring 2017

          Mike and Krystin's pool 2014        

                submitted by Cathy and Mandi      

Goodly Parents

“Goodly Parents”

I have loved keeping a journal through my growing up years and still enjoy it today. My journal has been a help and strength to me.  I love going back and reading my history.  

 The experience that I want to share today was back when I was in college living in Tempe, AZ.  I was very much in love with a young man.  I was struggling with what to do, he was not LDS, and had told me that he would not be willing to go to church.  I was heartbroken and knew want needed to be done.   I made a phone call to this young man and ended our relationship.  I quickly called my parents in tears; dad said we are on our way!  The family came to Tempe, which was a good 45 minute drive and we went out for pizza.  My dad went on a walk with me and told me that “sometimes we don’t understand why things happen the way they do.” I had just met Dave a couple weeks prior to this event.  It took Dave and me two months of dating before we were engaged!   The Lord has a plan, as we are obedient he leads the way. 

My dad is gone now and I am so grateful for the memories that I have written down.  I feel much like Nephi when he said “I have been born of goodly parents.”  I am grateful for the example of my parents.  I am thankful that my goodly parents were willing to haul their 6 children to Tempe to comfort their oldest daughter!   I’m sure coming to Tempe was not in my parents plan that evening, nor was it convenient.  As parents we do things that are neither convenient nor planned.  I appreciate their example of doing what it takes to keep the family top priority!  

-Shannon

Lessons learned from Geri

Lessons I have learned from Geri:

Geri is our sweet oldest Sister, who was born into this life with the cord wrapped around her neck causing her to be deprived of oxygen to her brain.  She was later tested and has been able to function on an 8 year old level mentally.  About 6 years ago she fell and hit her head and now is suffering with schizophrenia.  I call her “Geri raw” because she has pure childlike motives. I marvel that as we get older we lose some of those childlike traits.

We were privileged to have Geri live with us for 9 years when our children were young; these are a couple things I learned from her:

1. She loves herself without comparing
2. She forgives easily

Geri has wonderful self-esteem. Katie, 3 years old at the time, got a new dress and we were telling her how pretty she was in her new dress, after a while Geri said, “Aren’t you going to tell me how nice I look today too?”  

I have caught Geri looking in the mirror time and time again saying, “You look good today, Geri.” Or we would be going somewhere and she would say, “Did you see that guy checking me out?”   

At what age do we start to talk bad about ourselves?  Geri, stuck at the age of 8 years old, has great self-esteem.  She never compares herself with others and really likes who she is.  I try to remember “Geri raw”, who has no social filters that control how she sees herself. Her childlike mentality helps me realize that God would want me to like myself and be grateful for what he has created.  Geri is my great example of how to treat myself.

She forgives as a little child. When our brother Jed was a teenaged boy he started teasing Geri, and while she took his teasing for a while, when she’d had enough she punched him.  Whatever Geri lacks in mental capability is made up in strength.  It shocked Jed to see how strong she was.  Jed apologized and Geri forgave him immediately.  There are no grudges, no time that has to go by before she forgives.  She simply forgives those that have treated her badly.  I try to remember “Geri raw” who can forgive as a child, so completely. 

Everyone in our family loves Geri; she is so pure and childlike. She makes us realize how much we can learn from her.  Geri has helped us look at those that are different in a loving way and try to see what they can offer to this world.  I thank the Lord every day that I have the privilege to be her sister and to learn from her remarkable life.

-Gina